Please Do Not Touch

A young black man sits in a jail cell, writing poetry. It’s good poetry too. And he’s sat there telling us about Britain’s control of Somalia after the second world war, and he’s calling out the ridiculous neo-colonial attitude of post-Brexit trade deals between Britain and the commonwealth. And his cellmate who has been released from jail is calling him the ‘Prison Professor’ on national radio. And I'm just sat there thinking, what is a good, clever guy like you doing in jail?

Well, the answer is simple: Mason, our guy (played by the freshly graduated burst of talent that is Tijan Sarr), is a thief.

At least, that’s what the judge rules him to be.

But he backs himself.

Put it this way. Let's say a British soldier in occupied Somalia kills some people, and then decides to take a terrified kid’s afro comb home with him. Let's say that following this, the afro comb is presented in a beautiful case in a museum and is deemed to be worth millions of pounds. The white soldier is showered with praise and deemed a hero.

Now, had a black Somalian done that, says Mason, he would be called a pirate.

And when Mason takes this same afro comb from its case in the museum in the 21st century, he is thrown in jail.

Sarr expresses these sentiments with pure, heartfelt honesty and Casey Bailey’s writing jumps through different stages in Mason’s jail sentence in wonderfully smooth snips. One moment he is celebrating his own political achievements, the next he is slumped over, hopeless. The acting, direction and beautifully minimal stage design blend together like warm honey and it is a joy to watch - co-directors Gail Babb and Corey Weekes handle all the theatrical elements with panache. Please Do Not Touch is one of those plays that shakes you by the shoulders and cries ‘Don’t you see that this is how the world really is?’

Because in theory, of course I know racism is embedded in all of our cultural institutions and our history, but as a white person, I don’t have to be on the receiving end of it. I'm the oppressor. Plays like this wake up people like me, make us look around us and think ‘shit'.

It’s energising, like a burst of cold water or a slap in the face.

I hope this creative team goes far.

Please Do Not Touch is running at the Pleasance Theatre, London until the 26th of February.

Tickets can be bought here: https://www.pleasance.co.uk/event/please-do-not-touch#overview

Ella Satin

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I’ve decided I actually do like star ratings so here you are:

Queening

I’ve never written a review just for my own platform before.

I guess I’ve never, like, breathed before not really

I’m sat here with the football on and I feel like

free

so like,

imma go a bit rogue with this one and fuck convention.

yeah.

For ages when I was sat in the theatre watching, I thought the actor was pretty funny cos she was really good at being kind of Miranda-ish and British and awkward but at the same time she seemed really nervous and a bit out of control and when the script went serious it felt like the writing and acting got a bit preachy and less original

but then

all the way home I couldn't stop just thinking it over, like all the stuff I’d seen and heard and everything.

And I decided to man-spread on the tube.

it was pretty great, to be honest.

Cos even though I was sat there watching the play thinking it's full of clichés, the character was saying stuff about how when she was with her ex-husband she kept making herself smaller

and like

I’ve just broken up with someone too and like

that touched a chord

cos like I’ve always thought of myself as someone who feels comfortable taking up space but somehow I never thought about it in that way before? like, I don’t normally manspread on the tube. And I don’t normally walk with long, calm, decisive strides. And I don’t normally go in a shop and pick something out in 2 seconds, pay and walk out with like such conviction.

But I did all those things tonight after the play.

So like maybe it did something. idk.

also

I’ve never written a review all about myself before cos like,,,,,,, reviewing isn’t about me but about the piece I'm reviewing but like fuck it I wanna try something new.

idk it’s not the best theatre in the world but it’s touched me pretty deep somehow like - I guess it’s pretty powerful stuff and got me in spite of myself. Huh.

Plays can be funny like that I guess

u know what. imma do stars cos I quite like stars.

here are some stars

no idea if the number of stars here means anything. you decide.

Ella Satin